My Island.

04 January 2009

hello 2009...

A bit of a reflection here,

finally it's 2009. I said finally because I was kind of looking forward to 2009 as 2008 wasn't treating me too well. In fact, I can say that 2008 was the worst year in my whole entire 17years of life. I realised how much I have changed in 2008. Frankly, I am rather surprised with myself... I don't know if you have realised it, but I did. For the better or for worse... I guess it's dpdp.(diff pple diff perspective. RP students favourite line)

I recalled at the beginning of the year, I was suffering from moments of "waiting". I remember typing a post and I started off by typing wait wait wait in red.
The first few months of 2008 was totally horrible. Those were the times where I really understood the meaning of being at the lowest point in life. But well, I'm proud to say that I mananged get through all of them and my "reward" was that I became stronger as a person. Of course, I did not get through all those myself, but with the grace and mercy of my loving God.

Then comes entering into a place where I felt I was being thrown into the ocean to learn how to swim. yes, it was tough, it is still tough. Having to adapt to whatever and whoever that comes in my way is a thing which Jazreel cannot do for peaNUTS! I cannot express how much I hate changes, but I just simply hate it.
Last year was also a year where I earned my very first $500 bucks with my own hands. I totally remembered how I felt like crying on the first day at work...
but you know what? Through it all, I realised one thing about myself, and I feel that it is what God is working on in my life too. From that day til now, I feel God telling me that it's time for me to grow up. It's time for me to mature and to learn to be secured in life. This is tough.. just TOO tough for me, but you know what? This is 2009, and so I'm trying.

2008 was filled with too many "I"s that I feel very selfish.
I feel... I am.. I want.. I think... I need..

2009, "no longer I", but "You".
Love God. Love Life. Love People.
Sometimes we are just too engross with ourselves that we forgot about the people around us and the people who need us.

I've received this email from someone, which has hit me quite a bit.
There are unexpected people who have been added into my life that at times I even question God for his purpose.

"There comes a point in your life when you realize
who matters,
who never did,
who won't anymore...
and who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future."

True enough, people are just coming and going, but there will still come to a point where you know who are the ones who really matter, and who won't anymore, and who always will.
I just wanna say that if you are willing, I will be willing or maybe even more willing.
I believe it takes two hands to clap.

alright..
Goodbye to 2008.
I am now welcoming 2009 with open armrs for I believe 2009 is going to be greater and better(:

mould my heart in Your way,
use me in Your way.

1/04/2009