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after so many months, the ''fear'' has still been with me.i thought that it will only stay for a while...but i'm wrong. at first, i thought that i have already overcome it..but i'm wrong.i do know that it takes time..but i never knew that it will take this long.or maybe its just only me.i have told myself many times that i must overcome it..i MUST overcome it..but,i cant.
i hesitate always...i always hesitate.actually maybe not always..but i can say that i do most of the time.is everyone sharing the same problem as me?or have they already overcome it long ago?am i the only one?
it seems to be. i dont see anyone hesitating or fearing at this "stage".maybe at the beginning yes..but not now!it has been quite a long time already..but..but...i am still the same.i know i have already "improved" a little..but there is still a long long way to go before i really overcome it.i really do not know when..where and how (???!!) am i going to do it??i think i'm just the worst worst worst one!!
everyone seems to be enjoying themselves.not in a sense of having fun..but at least i dont see anyone feeling scared.they can just do it as and when they know they have to.but me?? i think twice..think thrice... and i know i have to..i JUST have to..but i just cant do it!
is this meant for me?or it's a mistake for me?
3/08/2005
Jazreel
SCGS
RP
14 Jan '91
jazreellim91@hotmail.com