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a lot of things had happened since the last time i blogged. definitely too much to say, but it just feels like i'm on a roller coaster ride. it's filled with lots of ups and downs. unfortunately there are more downs than ups.
after all this while, i came to realise one thing. and this is one of the most important things that i have learnt.
i have said before that if your happiness is dependent on others, it can be easily taken away.
but i have also realised that if you depend on something/someone as your motivation, it can also be easily taken away.
However, there is someone who can motivate you, and he is also the only one you can fully trust - God.
apart from God, you can be your own motivator as well. In this way, no one can stop you from being motivated, no one can upset you, and no one can make you feel discouraged! Instead, you will grow stronger.
life still goes on....
5/23/2007
guess what? i played badminton today! hahaha i was supposed to be at the hall for chem mentoring cos she thought that we could still do chem while she has her break. but who knows man.. the cca teacher was there today! eeeks. so well.. i did a bit of chem and went to play badminton.:D
after playing among overselves the coach came over and wanted us to do some group drills.despite me telling him like a hundred times that i'm not in badminton but was only there for fun, he still asked me to do the drills with him together with 3 others. so well i did lor. haha omg.. feels kind of weird cos i don't know badminton man. but i like the drills, very fun(: we did lifting, smashing, locking(?), dropping(?) something like that la. hahaha. i was a little scared cos i'm like playing with a coach. anyway he will serve the the shuttle and then we have to lift or backhand or...whatever and then move a few steps back then smash.then among the 3 of us we will rotate in a triangle. fun man!(: then comes the one to one thing. as in at first it was one shuttle per person... then later on he took the whole row of abt 16 shuttles and then start hitting at u and u are suppose to smash or lift it back to him. that was tiring. but i managed to hit back quite a lot of times:D surprisingly man.haha. so fun! i don't understand why the badminton girls doesn't like it?!heh.
ohwells..finally there is something for me to look forward to:D Evening by the pond! i hope it will be very enjoyable!! i really need a good laugh....(:
although your words have hurt me deeply,
but because of that i am even more motivated.
so thanks?
5/03/2007
i had the hardest time in ytd's geog lesson. really.. i felt that i was going to die or something. i felt that time was passing really slowly.. not that i wanted to fall asleep( in fact i was quite wide awake the whole of ytd) but having to control myself throughout the whole period seems just quite impossible. well.. i did it for two periods and i could still smile at people along the corridor. i'm amazed.
my mood was totally ruined and so were my plans for after school. all i wanted to do was leave school as fast as possible. what amazed me even more was that i could still go n eat lunch with my
friend and acted like it was my normal happy day. deep inside i was feeling really terrible.
finally when i was back in my room, i was able to relieve what i was really feeling.
i'm totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally disappointed with myself.
i never knew that pride is so important to me.
i don't feel like going to school ever again.
5/01/2007
Jazreel
SCGS
RP
14 Jan '91
jazreellim91@hotmail.com